As I await winter solstice, the nights are long, and the days are short. This is a variation of Gretchen Rubin’s truism: “The days are long, but the years are short.”
I will remember these years, of getting the children off to school. These high school years, when I did it on my own. Anchored by my chair, and my journal, I have been present for them, preparing breakfast, helping to find socks, watching the time; all the while, they grew up.
I’ve been waiting to see if Matt would get up, without me reminding him again. Waiting to see if Camille made it out on time, so I wouldn’t have to threaten to drive her to school myself the next day. Waiting to see if the birds would come to rest at the bird feeder in line of sight from my chair; I pause to check them out as I write.
This morning, three cardinals came to rest on the iron table under the feeder — a bright red male, a juvenile in dull browns, and a female. How long will they stay? I wait to see.
Sitting in this circle of light, I am glad to have been Here, Now, available to my children, and my own self, as we each face the day.
Soon, I will not have any children left to rouse, and the mornings will be different. But today, I’ll be grateful, for the flash of red, for the circle of light, for the honey toast crusts left on the Matthew’s plate. All the joys, the simple joys, of being Here, Now, in this moment, in winter’s light.
“There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground, ” says Rumi.
In the garden.